“ No more tearing of hair, no rending asunder of clothing, no praying to gods both major and minor for the damn thing to arrive immediately and deliver you from days spent discussing silicone versus plastic teats on a brownfield estate in Amersham. Or in my case, being forced to watch Loose Women from a TV on the ceiling with my toes pointing skyward as a doctor sets about my business end with a the upholstery attachment from a Dyson. No. You can trip frivolously about town with a sunny disposition and a tinkling laugh (though possibly not in light coloured clothes), safe in the knowledge that whatever else Auntie Flo might be doing, she will assuredly turn up sooner or later.